As I sit here is my office, I hesitate doing anything. I feel a solitude I haven’t felt in awhile. Mostly I notice no anxiety. My chiropractor said that she could feel anxiety in my pancreas, spleen and kidneys. How embarrassing is that? I promised myself I wouldn’t tell a soul about how overwhelmed I have been feeling. After all, I am a holistic nutritionist and wellness coach.
Instead I would tell the world that I am a super mom, a wannabe chef and the go-to Holistic Nutritionist for all of your anxiety, low energy and thyroid needs. “Fake it till you make it”, I said. “You’ll get past this and be resillant like always.” Since this has been going on for a while, I mean years, I’m thinking faking any longer might turn into burn out.
Anxiety for me feels like a soft chain around my neck. One that feels a little snug and could at any moment start chocking me. It makes me sick to my stomach. I mean that it makes me nauseous and I can’t eat in the morning. That doesn’t serve me well since the the most important time for nourishing my thyroid is in the morning. Even more, letting go doesn’t come easy for me. That chain around my neck is just like my stubbornness to let go and just be.
I tried to let go. I quit two projects that I was drowning in. When I did, I felt a lift, a joy, a space I didn’t even know I needed until it was created. I couldn’t wait to replace the time with something more exciting and meaningful. Since I am a doer and a perfectionist, it would take another lesson for me to realize that the key to releasing the anxiety was to just be. Another week of doing random new projects I finally took notice of how overwhelmed I was feeling. The anxiety had set in and I wasn’t sleeping! It was painful physically and emotionally. I had to get crystal clear about how to let go and just be.
I dealt with my anxiety like this. I asked myself “what do you need right now to allow yourself to just be?” I took magnesium to relax and St. John’s Wort to calm my nerves. This was a temporary fix while I got a grip on the root cause of my situation. I started eating cleansing foods to release the chemical tension. After not answering the question for days I took a walk. I decided that I needed undiluted time with my son and then with my husband. When I did it felt beautiful like a final release of my inner tension. I had to let go of every project, all the stress and take the time to just be and love them. Taking the time to be in my family’s space to breathe their air and share their time is how I allowed myself to just be.
The anxiety was my body telling me that my life was out of balance and it needed to be restored. If we listen in to our body’s symptoms we can get to the underlying cause of the problem. Nourishing the adrenals allowed my body to recover while I delt with the lifestyle drain that got me here in the first place.
As women it can be hard to care for ourselves. I sure find it tough! I did not take care of myself, but I am now and I will teach you how too. Diet, exercise, stress management, inspiration, lifestyle all have a profound effect on the way the body enjoys the day. To ignore any one of these areas is to feel incomplete. I’m working on a program for the fall to move you from feeling overwhelmed into feeling empowered in your health and a a whole lot more joyful. Stay tuned.
What do you need right now to allow yourself to just be? What does it look like? I would love to hear your story about anxiety, your challenges and what creates stillness for you. There is space below to post or send me an email.
